


Coming to Terms

by pianoforeplay



Series: Back to You [2]
Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-07-10
Updated: 2011-07-10
Packaged: 2017-10-21 06:04:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,239
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/221752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pianoforeplay/pseuds/pianoforeplay
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Jack turns four and Jensen freaks out a little.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Coming to Terms

**Author's Note:**

> Initially posted [here](http://pianoforeplay.livejournal.com/41146.html) on 11/9/2010.

"Alright, balloons and games are in the car," Jared says, front door shutting behind him. "You got the little finger pizza things?"

"Working on it," Jensen calls from the kitchen. "I think they're still kinda hot."

"That's fine; they should be cool by the time we get there."

"Are we supposed to bring drinks?"

Jared steals one of the pizza rolls of the cooling rack as he steps into the kitchen and then immediately drops it with a scowl as he brings his hand to his mouth. "Shit, those _are_ still hot. Damn."

"Did you grab the presents?"

"In the car," Jared says, his words somewhat garbled around the finger in his mouth. "And I figured we can swing by Ralph's on the way and pick up a few juice boxes. I've got a coupon."

"A coupon? Seriously?"

"Fuck you, man," Jared replies with a grin. "Not all of us are raking in royalties from superhero movies, alright? Coupons run my life."

Jensen gives a soft laugh and shakes his head. He forgets sometimes that Jared isn't some fresh-faced kid anymore intent only on unleashing havoc in the form of genius pranks, that he really is a _dad_ now and therefore fully responsible for the happiness and well-being of a whole other person. Sometimes Jensen forgets he's is really fucking good at it, too.

"What?" Jared asks, a tiny smile still curving his lips and, again, Jensen shakes his head, dismissing his idle thoughts to ask, "Is it cool if we pick up a six-pack or two on the way?"

Jared arches an eyebrow. "You plannin' on getting drunk at a four year old's birthday party?"

"Dude," Jensen says, pausing in his task of transferring each tiny finger pizza from the cooling rack to the designated Tupperware container. "We're gonna be spending the afternoon with a dozen screaming children all juiced up on ice cream and candy. If that's not an excuse to drink, I don't know what is."

After seeming to consider that for half a second, Jared gives a nod. "Okay, good point."

Once the presents, decorations and snacks are all packed up, they head out, stopping by Ralph's and a nearby liquor store on the way. Jensen spends most of the drive in silence, unable to shake the growing sense of impending awkwardness. It's been building for weeks, ever since Jack first invited him with wide, brown eyes and a hopeful smile. Of course, there hadn't been any way for Jensen to say no without feeling like a total asshole, but the closer they get to Sandy's house, the more certain Jensen is that the whole thing is a really bad idea.

Sandy knows about their relationship; Jared outright refused to keep it a secret from her. And Jensen's okay with that, of course. He gets it. But he and Jared have only been together for a few months and, though he and Sandy have spoken a couple times briefly over the phone, he still has yet to actually _see_ her. And sit down with her. Not that he has any idea what they'd say to each other, but he feels like it's something that needs to happen. Eventually. Preferably not when her son is busy celebrating his birthday with several of his over-sugared friends and their weary parents in attendance.

Plus, there's the whole fame thing. Which makes him feel like a self-absorbed egomaniac to even consider, but it's been an issue often enough now that he can't just pretend it's not there. He doesn't know the people who'll be in attendance or whether or not they've forewarned. Doesn't know if anyone will make a big deal out of Captain fucking America making an appearance at a kid's birthday party.

Or if they'll make a big deal out of him showing up with Jared. Make assumptions. Those assumptions would be correct, of course, but that hardly makes it any better. He and Jared have discussing coming out and he knows he'll have to make that leap eventually, but it's not something he wants to tackle right now. Not yet. He's simply not ready.

"You're freaking out."

Jared's voice is quiet, but still manages to knock Jensen out of his thoughts, and he startles a little before quickly recovering and tossing Jared as easy a smile as he can manage. "No, I'm not."

"Mmm," Jared says, clearly unconvinced. But he doesn't push it, just keeps his eyes on the road as he makes a right turn, slowing with the traffic. It's another few moments before he says, "You know, you don't have to do this if you don't want to. I can just drive you home and tell Jack you got abducted by aliens or something. He'll understand."

Giving a quick snort of a laugh, Jensen shakes his head. "Right. I'm sure he'll buy that."

"I've still got him believing in Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny. Aliens shouldn't be too big a stretch."

"And what will you tell him the next time he sees me? The aliens sent me back?"

"Nope. I'll tell him they sent a clone," Jared says. "But the aliens don't know that I know, so me and Jack will have to be really quiet about it and treat you just like the original or the aliens will come down and take us next."

Jensen arches an eyebrow. "Wow. You've been spending way too much time with preschoolers."

"You have no idea," Jared says with quick huff, though the grin on his face gives him away completely. His eyes are crinkled at the corners, dimples showing bright and Jensen lets himself just look for a long moment, taking it all in. The curl of hair below his ear and slope of his nose. The way he keeps tapping his thumbs against the steering wheel totally offbeat to the radio.

Jared's been helping Sandy plan this party for weeks, brainstorming themes and games and food plans. He's bounced idea after idea off Jensen, looked up tips and games on the internet. Even found the recipe for home-made mini pizzas and something called chocolate peanut butter bombs. Sandy's providing the location and a good chunk of the invite list, but everything else has been Jared.

And, okay, parties have always been a big deal for Jared, but this goes way beyond that. Because this is _Jack_ and, quite frankly, there is not a single human being on the planet who means more to Jared than his son. And Jensen has no problems accepting that. Never has.

The difficulty comes in admitting to himself that thinking of Jared-and-Jack as a unit is becoming less and less terrifying. That maybe it's to the point now where Jensen doesn't even _want_ to think of them separately. Maybe he wants the package deal. The baggage. Maybe he wants to be a best friend and partner-in-crime and lover and everything else he's ever been for Jared, yes, but what's more, he wants to be a father to Jack. He wants to have a family and finally maybe have a shot at being really, truly _happy_ for the first time in his life.

So when Jared glances over again, his gaze curious and a little concerned, but still so clearly excited for the day, all Jensen can do is return the smile with everything in him and say, "I'm not freaking out."

And, this time, he's only half lying.

 **end.**


End file.
